'Devil in the Dreamhouse' - What if the Barbie Movie was a Horror Film?

Barbie has been an icon of feminine perfection, fashion, and fun for generations. But what if her story was twisted into a nightmare instead of a glamorous dream? Imagine if the Barbie film was reimagined as a sinister horror movie.

So we poured ourselves a gallon of coffee and got to thinking on how this abomination may turn out.

Our setting is Malibu Dreamhouse, but not as you know it. The plastic mansion is now a looming Gothic structure, blanketed in fog and surrounded by dead trees. Inside, the halls are dimly lit by flickering candles that cast eerie shadows across portraits with moving eyes.

Barbies signature giggles have been replaced by shrieks of terror. When she brushes her hair, strands get caught in the brush and rip out. Her walk-in closet becomes a trap as the clothes come alive and try to suffocate her. The kitchen stove burns her plastic skin when she tries to bake. And her bathroom mirror reflects back a warped, melted version of her face.

Her friends have turned into foes out for blood. Ken doll pursues her with an axe after she breaks off their relationship, his plastic smile now maniacal. Skipper, Stacie, and the rest hunt her with knives and syringes to harvest her perfect body parts for themselves. Only Barbie's dog Taffy seems friendly, though he keeps bringing her mutilated body parts of dolls as gifts.

No one believes Barbie when she cries for help. Who would take seriously the fears of a silly plastic bimbo doll? When she tries to escape the Dreamhouse, the woods swallow her up, leaving her endlessly lost and turning back to the house of horrors.

 As she unravels the dark history, Barbie learns she’s destined to be sacrificed to maintain the beauty and youth of the other jealous dolls. Will she find a way to defeat her deranged friends and escape? Or will she end up another discarded toy with dead eyes?

In the hands of Blumhouse or A24, the Barbie movie could become the campy, creepy, plastic horror fest we never knew we needed. And it would prove that even the cheeriest of folk can inspire spine-chilling tales in the right filmmaking hands. Who knew the world’s most glamorous doll could provide so many nightmare-inducing moments? One thing’s for certain - it would make you think twice before picking up a new Barbie in the toy aisle.... or would it?